It’s Friday! Let’s F*ck Some Sh*t Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
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🔥 SEX – In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
What’s the purpose of sex?
Some folks claim it’s for procreation. And, sure, sometimes heterosexual sex can lead to that. But we’re not always banging to make babies. In fact, most of the time, we aren’t. (Plus, that’s rooted in heteronormative, patriarchal, white-supremacist, puritanical socialization that goes back only a few hundred years. It runs deep, but it’s not based in fact.)
So, what’s the purpose?
Often, we go into a sexual experience with the goal of an orgasm — whether that’s an orgasm for you, for your partner(s), or both.
But that’s a pretty limiting goal.
If the goal is for you to have an orgasm, that can be a lot of pressure. And pressure often makes the big O inaccessible.
If the goal is for your partner(s) to have an orgasm, the same can be true in that it can be a lot of pressure for them. But it also disregards your experience and can lead to sex turning into a chore.
Instead, I’d like to offer you a new set of goals to have for your sexual experiences in order to redefine the purpose of sex in your life:
- Experience pleasure in new ways.
- Connect with your partner(s) more deeply.
- Have fun!
Making sex about exploring pleasure and connection opens up new possibilities, while making it about fun releases the pressure.
Some questions to ask yourself the next time you engage in sexual activities that will help you reframe sex for pleasure, connection, and fun:
- What would feel good right now?
- How can this feel better?
- How can I heighten this sensation?
- What would be fun to try?
- What have I always wanted to explore?
Try these on for size and see how it enhances your sex life! 🔥
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💖 SELF-CARE – In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
When was the last time you took time away from the daily grind to replenish yourself?
Really think about it. Was it a bubble bath with the bathroom door locked, earbuds in, and meditative music playing to drown out the kids clamoring for your attention?
Was it a walk outside, where you left your phone at home and let all the notifications go unread for a bit?
Was it a weekend girls’ trip with your besties to a local horse ranch that’s juuuust far enough away to be freeing?
What if I could offer you an opportunity for replenishment with a private retreat custom-built for your ultimate rest and rejuvenation?
Picture it: You and me for a long weekend in Kansas City. Beautiful accommodations. The best food KC has to offer. Coaching, healing, bodywork, energy work, art, music, movement, outdoor spaces… All available. None required. Customized experiences based entirely on YOU. Your needs. Your wants. Your desires. Your current moment in life and where you’re headed next.
When you’re ready for an in-depth 3-day experience away from the day-to-day for your ultimate replenishment, email me.
This is not a public offer. It’s only available to my current clients and my email list.
We’ll have a consultation to go over your purpose for the private retreat. I’ll plan all the details with your approval (or as a surprise if that’s your jam). You’ll arrive and have everything taken care of. We’ll have a couple of follow-up calls for integration support. And you just might look back on this experience as the moment when everything fell into place.
I look forward to treating you to this custom experience that’s just for you. Email me for more details and to set up your private retreat consultation. 💖
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💸 SALES – Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Get my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice at KeliLynJewel.com/voice.
What’s the difference between how you show up for your audience in your marketing and how you show up for your paid clients?
There’s a common view that certain things are saved or reserved for paying clients. In fact, I used to work with someone who would respond to questions via DM by saying, “I only answer questions for my paying clients.”
And while, yes, of course, when you do client-facing work, you want to ensure you have clear boundaries around your time, attention, and energy, I want to offer a vastly different perspective on this idea.
When you treat your audience as if they’re ALREADY your paying clients, you’ll more easily develop the know, like, and trust factor that leads to sales.
This is one of the secrets behind the success of every business I’ve built over the last 20+ years. It’s why I have always developed an extremely loyal clientele. And it’s why I don’t have to work all that hard to pay my bills.
Treating everyone in your orbit as if they’re ALREADY your client also allows you to show up (again, within the boundaries you set) more fully and let go of any grippiness around when/if people buy.
It creates a reciprocal relationship that you don’t have to chase. You show up treating them as if they’re already your client + they show up as if they’re already your client = they become your client without you having to push anything or do any kind of “hard sell” that no one enjoys.
Give this a shot. See how it goes. And when you’re ready to take your client relationships to the next level, sign up for SellingU. (But, like, don’t wait on that too long. The 2024 cohort starts in March.) 💸
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✨ SPELL – Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a full moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
FULL MOON RITUAL
The full moon is an excellent time to release anything you’ve been holding onto. And this can mean one of two things! Either you’ve been clinging to something that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip, or you’ve been working toward creating something that you’re now ready to release into the world. Whichever option resonates most with you, that’s where to focus your energy for this ritual.
Supplies: paper, pen, candle, some sort of non-flammable receptacle (actual cauldron, metal, glass, or ceramic bowl or pot, fire pit outside, the base of a grill — you’re gonna burn some shit up so you want something to let it burn in that’s not going to cause any damage to anything)
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else. Then light your candle.
Write out what it is that you’d like to release. If this is something you’ve been clinging to that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip on it, fold the paper in half AWAY from your body. If it’s something you’ve been working on and are releasing into the world, fold the paper in half TOWARD your body.
Light the paper on fire and let it burn in your non-flammable receptacle.
BONUS: If you want to mix the burnt ashes with salt and/or offer them back to the earth by sprinkling them around outside or burying them under the moon, go for it!
The full moon taking place Saturday, February 24, is the last full moon of the astrological year.
Yes, the Gregorian calendar runs from January 1-December 31, so we celebrated that new year nearly 2 months ago. And the lunar new year began with the last new moon 2 weeks ago. But this is a different calendar that begins with Aries and ends with Pisces.
Given that it’s the last full moon of the astrological year and given that it occurs in the sign of Virgo (think checklists and organization meet inner strength and intuitive power), this is an excellent time to consider what you need to let go of in order to step into your favorite version of yourself.
What needs to be cleaned up or cleared out to make room for the most YOU version of you to emerge? ✨
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✊ STATECRAFT – Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
This week, we’re turning our focus away from actual politicians a bit, and sending our hexes to a jackass lawyer in Texas, who dosed his wife multiple times in order to attempt an abortion…without her fucking consent. That’s right, folks. Mason Herring, personal injury attorney, has in fact created a personal injury — to his ex-wife and now his tiny baby daughter, who had to spend a good chunk of her first few months of life in the NICU after being born prematurely and weighing just 3 pounds.
Had a doctor provided the medication to the mother, there would have been much harsher sentencing. As it stands, Mason fucking Herring was only sentenced to 180 days in jail. He’ll have a decade of probation after that. But for what the Texas law would essentially consider attempted murder if she would have been making the choice on her own behalf, with the assistance of her medical provider? That’s some bullshit.
Read more at Above the Law. And hex away. This jackass deserves it all.
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
